Confession

I MADE A MISTAKE. It happened 2 years ago when I set a goal to release my next album “properly” according to the music industry standards. And there’s nothing wrong with that except I made a promise to myself that I won’t record and release another album until I get myself educated and know exactly what to do with my new music.

I CONDITIONED MY CREATIVITY. Gave an ultimatum to my artistic self. And that was cruel. That made my path particularly rough, nothing to hold on to. I took my own wings away, put them into a dusty cupboard until I “deserve it”. But how high can you reach when your soul is chained to a brick wall?

In pursuit of the elusive future success of my non-existent album, I cut myself off the happiness and the deep enjoyment I get from the creative process: writing new songs and working on a new album. I said to myself: “This is just a stage. I’m in study mode. Studying is my forefront right now and this is where I throw all my forces till it’s done.” But the battling through self-education dragged on and on, yet I did not change my position or strategy but continued to force myself to fully focus on studying while my soul was suffocating from lack of creativity. “Just one more module! Just one more course. Almost there! Soon you will be allowed to create”. Oh, how absurd it sounds today.

Now that I am diving into the recording process enjoying every single bit of it and sensing the wings once again I realised WHAT I deprived myself off for these long two years!

Now, looking back I realise that I should have been more flexible in setting my goals. I should have said: “My goal is to release an album in accordance to the music industry standards BUT as I go towards this goal I will be writing and releasing music the way I can right now.” I think that sort of position would make my latest musical journey more inspiring, enjoyable and maybe even faster for when the soul is soaring everything comes your way and falls into places. You can’t go far when your sails are deflated, no matter how hard you try. You need to give your soul what it is longing for, to fill your sails with the wind of inspiration. 

Today I set my artistic self free! I allow myself to create, no matter what.

And maybe the release of my next album will be another disaster, another invisible album that no one’s aware of.

Who cares! I’ll do it anyway. I’ll do it for MYSELF. I’ll do it in order to keep soaring. I am spreading my wings wide, I am creating, I’m in the studio. I am happy.